The Leadership Lessons We Learned through the Adoption Process

Adopting children can be a journey full of intense highs and profound lows. This process spanned six years for my husband and me, marked by a whirlwind of emotions and transformative experiences. We discovered valuable lessons about leadership, compassion, and resilience in this crucible of waiting and hoping.

Our adoption journey wasn’t a straight path. It was a tapestry woven with moments of joy and devastation. Our journey was full of stops and starts. Each encounter we had along the way highlighted how deeply our mental, physical, and emotional states could influence our interactions. Just as a leader’s mood and mindset can set the tone for a team, our experiences during this time shaped how we “showed up” at work, with friends, and around family.

Tears punctuated our six-year wait—tears of hope, anguish, and every imaginable emotion. The day we decided to adopt two beautiful boys and then learned I was pregnant with our first biological child was both thrilling and terrifying. We went from envisioning a family of two to managing a triple stroller.

The sheer logistics of preparing for three babies were overwhelming while working in a high-travel job and saving every penny possible to afford the adoption and the child costs we would incur after the adoption was complete. We needed three cribs, three highchairs, three car seats, and a car that could fit them all. Amidst the chaos, I found myself nursing our newborn while propping bottles for our two malnourished babies, grappling with sleep deprivation, and realizing I hadn’t eaten a meal all day.

During this tumultuous time, a friend’s perspective offered invaluable guidance. She suggested that at the end of each day, we should ask ourselves three questions:

1. Have I PLAYED with my children today?
2. Have I PRAYED with my children today?
3. Do my children know they are safe and loved?

If the answer to these questions was a resounding “yes,” the day could be a success. This simple yet profound perspective reshaped how I approached motherhood and leadership.

The ability to pause and “redefine normal” is crucial in parenting and leadership. It’s not always easy to step back and reassess, but having a supportive friend or mentor who helps you gain perspective is a gift. Like parents, leaders must be adaptable and compassionate, recognizing when to adjust expectations and priorities.

Today, as leaders and mentors, we can offer insight and kindness to those around us. Look around your world and identify who might benefit from a fresh perspective or encouragement. Your support could make all the difference in their journey, just as my friend’s advice made a world of difference for us.

Every challenge offers an opportunity to grow, both personally and professionally. By embracing these lessons and extending compassion to others, we improve our leadership and contribute positively to the lives of those we encounter.

Remember:

• Everyone has chapters in their story you may not know; be kind
• Life lessons are often leadership lessons
• Be open to “redefining” your normal
• Find intentional opportunities to bring a growth mindset forward

#kindhonestrespect